Back

Returned to write this really old blog again

My first feeling is - time fades

When I first started this blog

It was all about doing homework

The subject was Forecasting Colors & Trends (I suppose)

At that time, I was like studying full time

So devoted & so into what I was doing

I mean, from time to time, I was "into something"

And now, what am I i"into"?

Into my work

A rather narrow scope I think

Why is the scope narrow?

Well, because I am limiting my growth

To sum up, I have been probably "too devoted" or "too into" my work in the past year

Being "too focused", I started to lose my friends, my family & my interest in life

I felt great when I was working

Energetic & powerful during Monday to Friday

I felt depressed when I was on holiday

Depressed & tried during Saturday & Sunday

For this reason, I worked also on Saturdays & Sundays

Gave me a relieve for a short while

But dragged me even deeper into the mud pit

I started to think that maybe I am "too focused" again

Though I always believe that there is nothing so call "too focused" when it comes to working & career

You reap what you sow

So I am totally finw with being "too focused" at the same time

Anyway, just like any investment,

Yout scope cannot be too narrow

Or it will be risky

I know that I need to turn around the situation

I need to love my work the way I am and at the same time love the rest part of my life

I had a lot of hobbies in the past

Knitting, cooking, drawing, reading, doing hand crafts etc (any sort of time consuming activities)

Yet now, I cannot get myself into any of them

Therefore THE question pops

What do I love?

The answer... well I am still finding

Everything has its pros & cons

I seldom truely "hate" a task/hobby/activity (just something)

But at the same time, I seldom really "love"

Its not easy to get my devotion

(My work seems to be an exception though)

Therefore eventually, the problem is - I am not devoted in life, I am not LIVING it

I am just making my life FLAT

We always need to ask the right questions to get the right answers

I think I have the right question now

As for the answer, I will give myself more time

Its something life long I suppose

The answer will be enriched from time to time

I do want to have some reference from the people around

(But these things will hardly be understood, I would be grateful if someone was willing to listen)

Yet I do not think I have good references around

Are they thinking too little or am I thinking too much? Whatever...

Anyway, my friends are mostly not caring, my families are not the peopl I look up to

Therefore I think I will head towards external help

How about life coaches?

Expansive, but worth a try

"I free myself not by trying to be free but by simply noticing how I am imprisoning myself" (Zen theory of change)